The Unexpected

Last updated : 18 September 2005 By Keith Allman

By the very nature of the game, football is an unpredictable beast. It'll throw up results and incidents that you never thought you'd see and, even when you think that you've faced up to everything the beautiful game can throw at you, another little gem pops up and makes you realise that the surface has only just been scratched.

Where is this going, I hear you ask?

Allow me to paraphrase from BBC Sport Online; "Ricardo Fuller's superbly-taken lobbed volley earned Southampton an unlikely point in a frantic second-half... Saints, who had seven players booked and Tomasz Hajto sent off, levelled through Fuller's late 40-yard effort."

Now who thought they'd ever see THAT in print? Which got me to thinking - what would be the top ten most unlikely footballing sentences ever constructed? So, in reverse order...

10) Due to slow sales, ticket prices for forthcoming Premier League matches have been halved. Season ticket holders will be reimbursed.
9) In the fifteenth minute of the match Kostas Chalkias came out and comfortably claimed a teasing cross.
8) Alain Perrin claimed in his post match interview he was "well chuffed" with the result and would be "out on the shant" to celebrate.
7) Despite a fierce challenge from the defender, Rory Allen was straight back on his feet and waved away the physio.
6) Lee Mills wone the man of the match award after a fantastic hat trick.
5) Portsmouth FC are delighted to announce the signing of an English lower league striker for £5m.
4) Azar Karadas was given a rousing reception by the Pompey faithful when brought on in the second half.
3) With a free kick awarded thirty yards out, Laurent Robert stepped aside to allow Dejan Stefanovic to have a go instead.
2) Harry Redknapp has turned down the chance to sign the star striker of the Senegalese U21s, claiming that his agent Willie McKay is "a bit dodgy".
1) Pompey kicked off the season for the first time ever in their brand new stadium.

If Ricardo Fuller can score a forty yard volley, then who knows...