On the other hand...

Last updated : 29 November 2004 By Keith Allman
1) It's all a ploy to get Jim out of a job. He's been mouthing off in the press, whilst Harry has been kept reasonably quiet. We all heard the rumours in May that "Eagle" was on his way out, and this is just a long winded way of doing it - his comments have harmed the club making him unemployable, whilst Harry will be safely reinstated.

2) We're rubbish away from home, but the "new manager effect" is well documented in league football. By conning the players into thinking Harry had left, they then went to prove a point at the Reebok and overcame their mental block on winning away. Now, Harry will be sensationally re-appointed and pick up where he left off.

3) Zajec is to be appointed manager, with Fred Dineage moving into a "Director of Football" role. He'll certainly teach the players "how" to win (Predictable Joke #254)

4) Fratton Park is to be knocked down and replaced with an Asda. Harry was responsible for the deal, managing to secure the signature of a Tunisian U21 international in exchange for the land. T Venables & Sons will be in charge of the new construction.

5) Mark Burchill is set to announce his retirement from professional football. Not content with Celtic, Ipswich, Birmingham, Rotherham, Wigan, Sheffield Wednesday and Dundee turning him down, he was hoping the appointment of his third manager at Pompey might give him the breakthrough he needs. The fact he failed to even make the bench at Bolton, despite being one of only two fit strikers at the club, has finally convinced him to follow Rory Allen to oblivion.

Well, you never know.