Example?
Peter Storrie makes some vague comment about how we might have a new signing within the next week. Exactly seven days - to the minute no doubt - after he makes the statement just to get the journalist in question to leave him alone, we get kicking and screaming about why we haven't signed the new player yet. Why our transfer policy is a joke. Why we're going to go down with the squad we currently have.
And, er, it's the 2nd of June. So yes, that DOES mean there's two and a half months until the start of next season. And yes, you may well have noticed that no-one else is really signing anyone yet either. But despite the fact we're in that small gap between "end of season" and "start of pre-season" where every professional footballer, coach, manager and chairman are all on holiday, it doesn't mean that the rumours can't keep flowing. And here are some of the best.
The blatantly predictable
No awards for guessing that all of these came from "The News"; Pompey are still interested in signing Osman, Basinas and Smertin. Copyright Mark Storey summer 2004. Sorry; winter 2005. What's that you say? Summer 2005? Ok then! (Message to Mr Storey - PLEASE get some new ideas. I know you trot these three names out every time there's a slow news day, and that's quite often at this time of year, but it's getting rather dull to hear on Monday how "Smertin is on the way" and by Wednesday "Smertin definitely isn't coming", only for him to be "on his way" again by Friday. Ta).
The "this rumour took five minutes to think up" award
Peter Crouch in a swap deal with two Pompey players. I'll give you a clue; one is a podgy Evertonian who loves Harry Redknapp, whilst the other is a Jamaican with a dodgy knee and a woeful strike rate. This rumour originally cropped up on the internet but it didn't take long for an un-named local rag to pick up on it.
The ones we almost certainly won't be signing
Sebastian Grax of Monaco, a player who spent last season on loan at Troyes, has declined the chance to come and play for us. Although he did say he was interested "financially" - just the sort of thing you want to hear from your potentially latest signing - he said he'd rather stay and fight for his place at Monaco. So he signed a new contract and promptly went out on loan again. Another name that has been hanging around for a while is Yossi Benayoun of Racing Santander, and whilst he has been linked in relation to us I'd expect him to turn up at Spurs or Newcastle - IF he comes to this country at all. Popular rumour suggests he'll probably just stay in Spain.
You heard it here first
Joos Valgaeren of Celtic; Benoit Pedretti of Marseille; Tomas Danilevicius of Livorno. Just you wait, they'll be on the back page of that un-named Hilsea based newspaper tomorrow. Along with a re-hashed Sam Parkin story no doubt, plus something to do with Smertin picking his nose and the bogey looking a bit like Portsmouth. So he might move here. But then again might not. Possibly.