Alain Rix's Blue and White Army
But I'm going to have to go a bit X-Files here because things are just getting too weird now. Do you remember last season when Graham Rix applied for reserve team manager at Fratton Park, only to get turned down? I've got a funny feeling that he might actually have kidnapped Alain Perrin, taken his place and is now trying to revert back how to things were in the 2001/2002 season. I mean, look at the facts.
Back then we suffered a humiliating 2-1 defeat to Colchester, not to mention 4-1 to Leyton Orient. Last night, needless to say, we were beaten at Gillingham. What's more, you just never knew which team were going to turn up under Rix - was is the side who thrashed Grimsby and Crystal Palace 4-2 each, or recorded a fantastic 4-1 away win at Barnsley? Or the side who crashed 5-0 at West Brom and 4-1 at Huddersfield? Likewise with the games we've had under the man who is supposedly Alain Perrin - 4-1 over Southampton and 4-2 against Charlton, feasts of flowing football? Or last year's dire defeat to Man City without a shot on target and a 0-0 draw with Birmingham (a result with Graham Rix also achieved in his time here).
There even seems to be some sort of link between the players we've got. Back then we had a young English keeper prone to errors called Chris Tardif. Now we've got one called Jamie Ashdown. Flying winger Courtney Pitt, or flying winger Gregory Vignal? Random signings who are never going to play like Uliano Courville, or random signings who are never going to play like Collins Mbesuma? Back then we had a big targetman without much talent called Lee Bradbury, now we've got Azar Karadas. People wanted to know why the young talent like Luke Nightingale and Steve Lovell couldn't get in the team, now people want to know why Richard Duffy and Frank Songo'o seemingly can't get near the first team. And at the centre of the team was Robert Prosinecki, an inconsistent and frustrating genius who scored some crackers - stand up LuaLua.
Behind the scenes Rix had Harry Redknapp where "Alain" now has Velimir Zajec. Construction on the new stadium was just about to start. We were predicted by everyone to struggle. We didn't really seem to have anyone capable of scoring lots of goals. The chairman was accused of not spending enough money to push us forward. Crowds were dwindling.
And you never see Rix or Perrin in the same room. The truth is out there...